Farting Through Yoga

By Jane Bokun

This week I tried Hatha yoga, which is the yoga I should have tried first instead of taking the advanced class.

It was slightly less painful than the advanced, but with a few more farts. I am mortified when they slip out during some of the more compromising yoga moves like the one where you sit on your back legs, or Vajrasana, to us who google . Who would have thought that pose would hurt so much? And, make you fart so much? I am going to continue yoga, but rate the classes with fart count. Advanced? 10 farts. Regular Hatha? Maybe two.

“I’ll try the one where I sit on my legs at home later on my bed,” I assured Rey Candelaria, owner of Shanti Wellness Center in Munster, Indiana, who led the class.

He, who I have known for a long time, wouldn’t hear of it. Rey posed my body in the required move.

“I hope he didn’t hear that fart,” I thought. The yoga farts don’t seem to smell, so that’s good.

I love the beginning of the Hatha Yoga class at Shanti Wellness Center. It’s lie down flat on your back, raise your arms and sssstretch. It’s very relaxing and helps to center your thoughts. The deep breathing is also good for stress. I broke my back recently and initially broke it three times in the mountains of Arizona. I find I can still do many of the poses such as Downward-Facing Dog. Extended Triangle. Sphinx Pose. Cobra Pose. Locust Pose. and Bridge Pose. I’m lying, of course, but I seem to be pretty good at downward facing dog.

What you’ll find out if you’re contemplating yoga for the first time is that many in your class will have the same ailments you do and collectively will applaud your progress. It also doesn’t matter if you have a proper matt, many yoga studios supply them, or the latest workout wear. I NEVER purchase good workout wear it’s a credo I live by. I get a lot of hand-me-downs from my niece.

“It’s like a community,” says avid yoga participant Mara Candelaria. Give it a try. Shanti Wellness employs excellent anti-Covid 19 practices and your temperature will be taken when you arrive. The website is at http://www.shantiwellnesscenter.com.

Try to come to a class that I’m not attending.