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Hiding food insecurity

By Jane Bokun and the Foodbank of Northwest Indiana

When I met Julie Anderson, who is currently the SNAP Support Specialist for the Food Bank and will soon head up its new Order Ahead Program, I could never have known that she once suffered from hunger pangs. She never told anyone, and she never asked for help. I can relate to that. I also have gone through times when I couldn’t access a sandwich to save my life and never asked for help. I love the fact that Anderson is candid about her situation. Her life is like so many others.

At age 29, Anderson married and began a family. After 16 years, the marriage broke down. She became a single mom of four. “I was at rock bottom, having to find a way to support my family completely alone,” Anderson says. “Through a federal program I qualified to enroll in a job training program. One of my first opportunities was with the Food Bank of Northwest Indiana. I felt very beat down and honestly exhausted, but I needed a job, The Food Bank took a chance on me.”

At the time, Julie didn’t admit to herself that she was food insecure. “Here I was, working around food all day, while being extremely hungry myself.” One day, a fellow employee asked Julie if she’d like to share her lunch. “It was such a kind gesture,” she says. “I realized people at the Food Bank practice what they preach.”

What does the face of hunger look like? Just a short time ago, it looked like me. Anderson is far from the only person who is going hungry because of temporary lack of funds. Many times, food insecure seniors can have health problems including depression, high blood pressure and congestive heart failure because they’re hungry and embarrassed to speak up. The statistics are maddening. They include 5.2 million seniors aged 60-plus who faced hunger in 2020. That’s a lot, but the problem is apparent. We all must speak up when we’re down.

My husband and I both have college degrees. We were in trouble many times and could have used a hand. If you’re afraid to speak up and are in need of food, contact the NWI Food Bank at (219) 980-1777. There are so many programs and volunteer opportunities in this, and all food banks across the country, you’ll be glad you did.  

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By Jane Bokun

Even though at 65 I have a lot of aches and pains, I also have a lot of younger friends who don’t care – or notice.

To keep them, I stick to these five rules:

  • Don’t judge.
  • Be open minded.
  • Try new things like long distance travel.
  • Maintain your sense of humor.
  • Seek out the fun in new situations.

The adage, age is just a number, is true in my case, but it’s strange. I was always the one who was older than the rest of my grade school class, in college classes and even the job scene. In kindergarten, I started at just four years old and got held back a grade for being emotionally immature. This act started a trend, and I eventually didn’t go to college until I was 20. I was always just older and didn’t act my age (I still don’t).

Ticking off one of the reasons for what some would call, my delayed maturity, I never wanted to miss a minute of fun – or what I perceived as an epic idea.

I once took a dusty train ride to Mazatlán in Mexico from Nogales, Az. The train was black tar colored, older than even me, and huffed and puffed its way through dusty mountains, finally to the azure blue sea of Mexico. You’d think I’d be scared, but I thought it was a great way to travel. The train cars were full of people who presumably weren’t used to high class travel. The filthy threadbare seats were full of white, clucking chickens who were along for the ride. It took about 24 hours. When we got hungry, there was a potato vendor on the train. I took my younger friend Jill, who spoke fluent Spanish. We had $100 dollars between us and two weeks to kill. We had already booked a Holiday Inn so we were covered there. When we got to Mexico, she met a man, and I didn’t see her again for the rest of the trip. That’s the kind of thing younger women do and this was pre-cell phone. I was just hoping she was alive.

Now that I’m an oldster, the ones I find myself doing the most with are young people that have a willingness to explore new things. I retired, but still took on some side gigs such as selling wine and even Dyson vacuum cleaners and $500 blow dryers. Everyone who works selling things is a lot younger than me and I recently worked with one. When our shift was over, she said, “Do want to go get a bloody Mary?” Sure, I thought, but won’t you be embarrassed with your grandma? Nope, this 28-year-old was game and so was I. It’s the attitude. I try never to judge. It makes you old.

On one vacuum foray, I met a young saleswoman working at the store I was at.

“They told me not to talk to you because you’re crazy,” she said matter of factly.

To be honest, I have heard that before.

Now, we’re close friends and I’m off to her baby shower.

“Maybe after I have my baby we can go to Mexico for the weekend,” she said.

“Sounds good,” I said and I meant it.

On the flip side, I also have a 98-year-old friend. She’s had a bevy of facelifts and looks absolutely fabulous. When I laugh with her I don’t know her age and she doesn’t know mine. She’s one of the hippest and funniest women I’ve ever known.

At this point, there really isn’t a lot of time for pain. We need to get our bucket lists finished. I’m always surprised when younger women want to come along for the ride.

Why?

For one thing, they have a lot of energy, and curiosity. They rarely say no if I say let’s go to Seville, Spain in November. They might think it’s a great idea and start packing. Some friends my age might question my sanity if I asked them to go to Spain.

 “Why not,” I would say.  Right now, I feel like I’m kind of lucky, kind of.  I can travel now without too much trouble. My entire life I’ve felt just jumping on a plane and going anywhere takes planning. I spent the last year taking care of my dying father who really wanted to stay alive and now I think, “to hell with planning.” Find the inner Jane, who still thinks she might get into a little trouble with her friends.

I want to stay open and not set limits. Young people talk about formerly taboo subjects like the latest vibrator, like it’s perfectly normal conversation. They’re not afraid and why should I be?

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The “What I love” winner

By Jane Bokun

My last blog talked about how I came to terms with my true love, or what I think about most during Covid quarantine. I asked you to tell me what you love and I heard from you. The most interesting note was from Dan Matthews and I’m shipping a lovely purse for his wife for his trouble.

This is the lovely purse gift for telling me what you love.

Matthews said he always wanted to be an artist and a body builder, but took a blue collar job instead to pay the bills and make more money.

“I love body building,” Matthews says.  “But I really like playing guitar and drawing. I should have gone to school for athletic training, but I messed up by taking my dad’s advice to go into some form of management.”

Indeed, Matthews went to Purdue University and received his bachelors in business.

“I loved the classes, but hated being a manager when I got my first job as a health club manager,” he says.

“While there, I really wanted to help people train with their workouts,” Matthews says.
He also really liked the training and development of people, but could never find a job in corporate America. 

Matthews say he probably never fit the “Bizzness” suit guy look. 

“I’m more of a blue collar wearing boots guy. ”

Matthews is worried he missed his calling in life, but has decided to take some art classes and go back to bodybuilding.

Albert Einstein said, “You never fail until you stop trying.”

People like us should never stop trying and one day, we’ll feel we made it, if only for our perseverance.