Tag: #over50

#over50chicagolifestyle, over 50, Uncategorized

Looking for a snowy good time? Try Winter Miracles at Door County

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Some people may not think Door County, WI. when they think of a winter playground, but they would be dead wrong. In the summer, it’s yachts moored in sparkling blue water and tony restaurants. But in the winter, the cold, blue waters of Lake Michigan turn to magical, ice palaces and places to bring home the day’s catch after ice fishing.  

Indeed, here in one of the coldest winter spaces, there’s time for ice fishing, snowshoeing, cross country skiing, and even fat-tire biking. But Door County is considered the Cape Cod of the Midwest and has it all. It sits on mammoth Lake Michigan, which covers Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana and Illinois.  I am particularly interested in ice fishing because I haven’t done that yet. Luckily, what I notice is you don’t have to be perfect at any one of these sports. Bucolic Door County has a large retiree population and a lot of the people who come to this area to retire, or purchase second homes, like to laugh a lot.

I asked Destination Door County Chief Communications Officer Jon Jarosh, if the tentlike ice huts were heated and he said it was quite comfortable and safe in the cozy huts. Novices like me even find there are plenty of fishing guides to help get the huts ready and help with your fishing expeditions. They bait your fishing poles and then you can catch walleye, northern pike, perch, or brown trout. The area is also becoming known for getting some prime, popular whitefish. I’m familiar with catching fish as a relaxing, Zen hobby as my dad often took my family fishing on Lake Michigan in the summers. After we caught our wriggling fish, we would watch as my dad fileted them while we said, “gross.” My mom then cooked them to a golden brown and our trophies were delicious.

Door County has lots of romantic Bed & Breakfasts and hotels to accommodate newcomers, according to Jarosh. I’ve also done some snowshoeing and cross-country skiing and found I can handle the white snow packed Wisconsin hills with only some deep breathing – and silent praying.

“It’s better than skiing down a mountain,” I tell myself. It may also be more challenging then say, laying out in the sun sipping on a Pina Colada.

After some grunts and groans, it might be time for a spa, I lovingly say to myself.

“I’m trying to live in the moment.”

 In Door County, I choose The Spa at Sacred Grounds. There are a few spas here and it makes me want to stop and visit them all, (I love a fancy area) but I’m on a mission.

The Spa at Sacred Grounds in Door County

Although Wisconsin is thought of as a state known for friendly farmers and the popular Green Bay Packers football team, it can also be glamourous here. Art galleries, specialty pubs, wineries and large homes are no strangers.

Once you get to The Spa at Sacred Grounds, in Door County’s Ephraim, the first thing to notice is the place exudes calm. It’s open all year around. On the grounds there are tall trees and myriad plant life. It feels strange because you want to sit at a comfortable table in the woods and never leave.  It feels otherworldly.  When you’re, like I often am, feeling nothing but problems and anxiety, The Spa at Sacred Grounds is an oasis of therapeutic peace.

Kim Maedke-Shumway, a Door County native, was a customer at the spa for 18 years before she became owner.

 Helping others gave the trim, dark-haired woman a new sense of confidence and she already knew what made people happy. She started out with unique massages, facials and spa treatments. It’s a day spa so there is no hotel backing up the property. Inside the spa, there’s a pristine library and yoga studio where classes are held. There’s a private log cabin where some massages are performed as well.

“I thought if I can do for one person what this spa has done for me, I’d be doing well,” she says with tears in her eyes.

After a day at the spa or shopping in fun stores like Bliss, a luxury co-op made of several clothing and design stores, it’s time to try other winter activities. There are 250 miles of snowmobile trails; candlelight skiing in January and February; sleds and tubing at Peninsula State Park; romantic sleigh rides with Mayberry’s Carriages; Classes such as weaving and philosophy at The Clearing Folk School; and even a fish boil every Friday night at the well-known White Gull Inn.

There also are trolley rides that include specialties like cocktail and ghost tours found at Door County Trolley.

It can be tiring, and some homemade cherry wine might be in order from Lautenbach’s Orchard Country Winery. I love tangy cherries and have tried the wine flights which are delicious. Lautenbach’s, open year around, focuses on all things cherry which is my absolute favorite. Besides wine, you can get cherry strudel, pancakes, drinks and more.

For those who want to try this little-known jewel in winter, it’s easy to get to from airports in Chicago, (about four hours); Milwaukee (about two hours) and Green Bay (about an hour). Rental cars are also easy to procure.

Before this winter excursion, I always thought I was a summer girl, but this trip to winter Door County was life changing. You might want to meet me in Door County for very, very slow candlelight skiing and a generous poor of cherry wine.

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The Grand Canyon and the elderly

Jane Bokun

After my son graduated from college and had done so well, I promised him a trip to the Grand Canyon after flying into Phoenix.

“It was truly awesome,” I said.

Post College trip

The first time I saw it, I was shocked. I came from what was essentially a steel mill town that was often dirty and smelling of the billowing smoke from factories. That wasn’t all. There also were people who lived there that never saw the Grand Canyon and never wanted to see it. My side of town suffered from a lack of intellectual curiosity or curiosity per se.

My son, on the other hand, was not that excited. He didn’t grow up in what was essentially a ghetto, and it wasn’t as awesome to him. He grew up in Tampa with its beautiful beaches and stunning atmosphere.

But me, I had never seen anything so big and colorful and awe-inspiring. The gargantuan mountains of sand that had been honed through time and water for years was amazing. It was near my alma mater, Northern Arizona University, and so I often did a little hiking with a bottle of wine and a friend. We were fearless back in the days before there were no fences and buses around the canyon.

“It’s a giant hole,” my son said nonchalantly.

“Yes,” I said, but what a hole. “Ok,” he said, and wanted to get back on the buses to see other parts of the hole. A curious thing had been happening. Everywhere my husband and I went people gave us their seats. Even when we were on a bus to get a rental car in Phoenix, people stood up and gave us their seats.

“Oh no, that’s okay,” I told one Hassidic Jewish man and a pretty girl.

“We’re young,” he said politely. Did I mention both I and my husband can walk?

“Oh my God, I really think I’ve still got some life in me,” I thought.

When the bus came to take us to another part of the Grand Canyon, I didn’t get a seat fast enough and stood in the aisle while everyone begged me to take a seat.

“I’m not doing it,” I thought. “I’m a daredevil.”

After the bus stopped, my son chastised me.

“You’re old mom and you should always take a seat,” he said. The girls traveling next to us agreed.

“I may never sit again,” I thought to myself in elderly defiance.

Then, as I sat in the Phoenix Airport, a worker came up and asked if I wanted a wheelchair? What? Why?

“Take it,” my son said.

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Disney has culinary magazine

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Have you ever patted your tight, huge stomach after having eaten a delicious meal at Disney and thought, “I wish I could make this at home?”

Now you can with Delish Magazine done by Disney Staff. It’s a product of my friend Charles who works in public relations for Disney and it’s a winner. It’s got 50 secret recipes from Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom. There are even drinks to complement each season. You can do a Disney feast without leaving your home.

Disney’s new food magazine

(From the blog) For Walt Disney World Resort, Disney Springs has a few new openings you’ll definitely want to have on your radar. Starting last March, Disney eaters can indulge in all the DOLE Whip your heart desires with the brand-new Swirls on the Water. This kiosk will feature delicious flavors as well as signature items like DOLE Whip Lime & Habanero Soft-serve Nachos featuring waffle cone chips topped with DOLE Whip lime and habanero soft-serve, mango boba pearls, Tajin spice, raspberry sauce, and whipped cream, or the 50th Celebration Cone with a DOLE Whip lemon and cookie dough soft serve swirl. You can also try the DOLE Whip Flight featuring all six of the featured swirl flavors and those over 21 can indulge in the Sangria Float featuring DOLE Whip and red wine sangria.

Now, I like all older women, love Sangria. It’s got that hint of sweet, but overall savory taste. I plan to remake the DOLE Whip sangria. If you’d like a copy of Delish Magazine by Disney, please leave me a message on the blog at http://www.bpeeled.com.

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Dressing in the post pandemic: style for those over 60

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

I’m the kind of person who likes fashion.

 I know because I once spent time in the ornate Victoria and Albert Museum in London. The museum focuses on applied arts, decorative arts, and design with more than two million objects. What did I do? I spent about five hours looking at the wedding dress exhibit on display.

Even when there are no prying eyes to see me, like in the case of the past two-year Covid 19 pandemic, I like to look put together. During the pandemic, I always put on real pants to go to the grocery store. Even at home, who knows who might come over with a package and I might have to answer the door?

My idol of keeping it together in the elder years, Christie Brinkley

In fact, I completely agree with famous designer Edith Head’s comment, “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.”

I don’t want to go out looking like I’ve given up and wearing the same black nylon pants and matching polyester printed shirt. There are women who are 64 like me and have completely given up on their fashion sense.

To the rescue is Sue Abarno, a personal stylist with that pinnacle of fashion, Bloomingdales. Personal stylists in larger department stores are free and there is no tipping. You also don’t have to be a Size 2. All shoppers do is make an appointment. Stylists will tell you when something new comes in and give you a heads up. They will work with other departments when you need other things like gifts and home items. They’re mainly looking for long term relationships with customers.

“We see people of all ages and sizes,” Abarno says.

“It’s all about the elevated basics,” she says. “Women want to remain comfortable, but still look classic and put together.”

She stresses that means wearing traditional silhouettes with updated fabrics like fitted tees with a little, colorful cashmere cardigan for cool evenings in summer.

You can wear traditional knit pants with a structured look, zipper and flat front. You may want to be age-appropriate, or not. That’s up to you. We’ve reached the age where we can do what we want. For some that want to stay within the bounds of fashion, there are things like the perfect pair of jeans that will get them started

I’m hearing from fashion experts that those above 60 should stick to the classics. No jeans that end at the hips and show your stomach. I hardly like to show my stomach during surgery.

The best jeans for women over 60 are those that are more tailored, meaning you’ll have to toss your ripped jean look along with mom jeans and bell bottoms. Make sure your jeans really fit. I always seem to buy pairs that sag on my previously huge, voluptuous butt. That happens to bathing suits too. I’m talking to you designers: some older women have smaller butts and larger stomachs. In fact, I wish I had this butt when I was young. It would have saved a lot of catcalls and trouble.

Right now, I only have one pair of jeans I think are perfect. They make me feel put together and don’t sag on my deflated derriere. They make me feel chic and stylish, and sticking to them is the plan.

According to Abarno, people like traditional jeans with a little elastic give in the cloth that you can pair with short sleeved sweatshirts, blazers and T-shirts. They should be straight or bootcut. The great news is now you can wear them with your tennis shoes and still be cool and comfortable.

Maria Pinto, a Chicago designer of the collection M2057, who has dressed celebrities such as Michelle Obama and Oprah, says post pandemic women over 60 aren’t willing to compromise on comfort. Her M2057 collection features minimalist and feminine styles. They include neutral structured jackets, skirts, dresses and more that ooze sass. The best thing is they’re machine washable.

“The new high-tech fabrics are really great,” Pinto says.

“We positioned this collection M2057 for function. Indeed, Pinto’s ready-to-wear collection is easy to put on and go, making sure you look great.

She says in terms of style, she has friends who look stylish at any age.

“One of my most stylish friends is 82,” Pinto says. “We got where we are by listening to women.”

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Looking for a job? Here’s how one woman turned her job loss into a way to find jobs for many…

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

A free job group called STM Career Group, which started years ago in Munster, In. has proven to be a saving grace for many in the area who are looking for jobs.

Try job groups or networking with people you already know…

Christine Spencer, who heads the job networking group in the Weis Center at St. Thomas More church, 8435 Calumet Avenue in Munster, started it when she lost her own job and saw it as a vehicle to help on the 3rd Thurs of each month at the Weis Center and the rest is history. “

Spencer, a petite woman who always wears suits to her meetings, has a background in meeting planning and has trained various groups in time management.

“Lots of people come here for jobs,” agreed Susan Strain, who works at St. Thomas More church in Munster. “They can get free help with resumes and hear from human resource professionals.”

Spencer said that may be the ticket to her group’s success.

“We have different presenters at most of the meeting that help with how to land that next opportunity,” she said. “We also have Donna Weidenfeller who is retired from Purdue Calumet Career Services helping people with resumes and cover letters each month and Robert Teets who helps with IT, social media and spends times encouraging participants.  His wife, Helen Marie Harmon, has also been a presenter many times and is certified to give the Myers-Briggs Assessment which we do each spring.”

STM Career Group now has a steady 30 participants each month and as many as 100.  All meetings are free and open to the public.

 In fact, Spencer said she started the networking group, because, “not only once, but four times, I’ve gone through downsizing and merger. “

Now, about 50 participants meet at 7 p.m. monthly on Thursdays  at Weis to network, hear seminars from local companies such as Arcenal Mittal Steel, and basically do what it takes to get a new job. The crowd varies each week from very young right out of college applicants to seniors. Volunteer, Donna Weidenfeller, gives presentations and is a resume reviewer.

 “When I lost a very good job I was traveling as much as 50 miles away to network,” Spencer said.  “I had been thinking of starting a networking group in the area and just prayed about what all this means.  Everything just eventually fell into place. “

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My dad turned 89

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

A few weeks ago my father turned 89 years old and my worry went up a notch – if that’s even possible.

He’s in relatively good health, but he can’t walk and he can’t figure it out and he won’t use any walking devices. Therefore, he’s always falling, which he thinks looks more manly. He also can’t access the time he lays in the street or on the floor because he falls into his bedroom wall every time he gets up in the morning. If you go into his bedroom, you’ll find many head imprints.

Dad on his 89th birthday

“I was only down for about a half hour before someone helped me,” he says.

“OMG, he was down for about two hours by the time I found him,” the neighbor says.

I always tell him, “you’re lucky you’re only hitting your head (because it’s so hard, get it?)”

Partying with grandpa

If that isn’t enough, he also drives a big Cadillac and he won’t stop. I found some laughable ideas on the internet that may help.

They include: disabling their car, selling their car and telling them you can’t find their car keys after you’ve hidden them.

None of these ideas will actually work and I find I need help. How did you stop your elderly parents from driving? Please let me know at janepospybokun@gmail.com.

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Nuts & Bolts – A Lesser Sign of Aging

Jane Bokun

By Kathy Bryson, Banana Peel guest columnist

Aging is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you, small and ignorable. You think you need the gym when you get thicker around the middle, but you don’t worry about it because you’ve finally gotten to a point in life where you can afford a gym! Then suddenly you pull a muscle, and two days of ice packs and Advil remind you that you’re not as young as you used to be.

For me, the eye-opener came after a day’s recovery from painting.  That’s when I started to plan home improvement, starting with buying a mesh garden cart to haul heavy things. I found one online and had it delivered. I’ve built IKEA furniture. How hard could it be?

A model of Kathy putting together IKEA furniture. Time, tide and IKEA wait for no man.

I didn’t make it past the 1st step. Whether it was lack of strength or loss of dexterity, I could not screw the nuts on the bolts. I thought, “Oh man, they sent the wrong size” and fired off an email complaint to the online store. But, since I didn’t really want to send everything back, I also called my brother.

My brother is actually improving with age. He’s gone from being a know-it-all to being an invaluable resource.

“Send me a picture,” he said and then explained, “That’s a locking nut. It’s not too small. It has a rubber gasket inside to keep it from coming off.” Then he explained how to use two wrenches to get the thing on.

Well, that was good to know. The fact that the locking nuts have been around since 1931 was a little harder to take. I mean, I have put together a lot of IKEA furniture and have an impressive collection of Allen wrenches to prove it. It should not take me three hours and two phone calls to put together a little cart. But then it occurred to me that I’d moved pass college-age furniture into the adult leagues and felt better – until I realized I owed the online store an apology!

About Kathy Bryson – As the writing tutor and sometimes professor, Kathy Bryson works regularly with students who reminder her not to be an old fart. She’s also an award-winning author of tongue-in-cheek fantasy who appreciates a good joke. You can learn more about her work – academic and ironic – at www.kathybrysonbooks.com

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Tapping out in the over 50 workplace

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

If you think age is just a number, try being over 50 in the workplace.

In today’s 20-something workforce, out with the old seems to be a watchword — and even many 40-somethings are starting to look over their shoulders and feel the hot breath of youth bearing down on their careers.

In today’s 20-something workforce, out with the old seems to be a watchword —

Everyone in the workforce

Age discrimination is definitely a consideration in the workplace,” said Melissa Cole, an assistant professor of law at Saint Louis University Law School. Cole said as layoffs occur in today’s shaky economy, age discrimination lawsuits do sometimes follow, but not as often as sex or race discrimination cases. She said companies that have large layoffs many times include all age groups so that age discrimination does not affect the larger workforce.

And, she said, when companies layoff, they oftentimes have employees sign an explicit waiver precluding any discrimination lawsuits in order to receive an incentive on a compensation package. Older workers most often take the packages rather than opt for a lengthy lawsuit.

However, baby boomers who are turning 55 this year and are highly paid middle managers might disagree. There are now about 16 million Americans ages 55 and older who are working or seeking work, according to figures compiled by the AARP-Roper Starch survey.

Economic necessity will keep aging boomers working longer largely because of longer life expectancy, more limited private pension benefits and anxiety over potential changes in Social Security. These long-term workers sometimes are the first to be discarded in favor of younger workers with less pay requirements, and they do tend to strike back, Cole said.

Scott Stewart, a labor and employment attorney with Burroughs, Hepler, Broom, MacDonald, Hebrank & True in St. Louis and Edwardsville, handles cases for both sides.

“Age discrimination lawsuits coupled with gender and race discrimination are slightly on the rise in the area,” Stewart said.

There are a lot of factors involved in winning an age discrimination suit, Stewart said, including a lengthy evaluation process to determine whether an employer had unreasonable expectations, such as unnecessarily complicated job directives.

“They can say things like you are not as accomplished in computers,” he said. “But you would have to prove that was only a pretense.”

When making the decision to sue your employer, Stewart said, the first obstacle is making your case to an attorney who will then take it on a contingency basis.

“One of the drawbacks to age discrimination suits is that punitive damages are not available,” he said.

He recommends that if 40-plus workers feel the need for legal back-up, they first file charges with either the Missouri or Illinois Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

“They have a human rights commission that can make an attempt to mediate the situation,” Stewart said. Barring that, the claimant also must obtain a right-to-sue letter within 90 days of filing.

There is some good news for plaintiffs. Although only about 20 percent of all complaints filed with the federal EEOC are for age discrimination, people claiming age discrimination were awarded an average of $219,000 compared to $147,799 for race discrimination, $106,728 for sex discrimination and $100,345 for disability discrimination, according to Jury Verdict Research.

“You tend to get lots of age discrimination claims in a business climate coming out of this type of setting,” said Dan O’Toole, an attorney with Armstrong Teasdale. For example, he said, in St. Louis companies like Boeing and others laid off workers and got 40 or 50 age-discrimination lawsuits.

Some St. Louis corporate leaders are realizing they can act to reduce or eliminate age discrimination through effective management and educational programs, O’Toole said.

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Tell me what happened the year I was born…

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Each year my broker sends me a card that tells me not only how old I am, but how old I am in dog years, or that I’m 1,955,923,200 in bee years.

I cover my eyes because I don’t want to know what my age on Mercury would be (258 years). I think my age now is 258 years. All these time limits give me the idea that I haven’t accomplished my lofty goal of being, say, a hit over-50 blogger who is so popular that people line up around the block for my funeral in whatever city I’m retiring in.

The year I was born

The reality, I fear, is that no one will line up for me because they don’t know me. It’s probably the same problem misanthropic people have when they die at 90. Or, the fear that no one will come because you’ve moved around so much.

Enter a friend of mine who I know will come to my funeral. This man has probably attended about 10,000 funerals in his lifetime. If I’m worried about what city I will end up living in, he will probably travel. I know that if I end up in Baghdad in a war zone, he will attend my funeral. It makes me feel comforted and like I won’t be alone in my first days of spirit form.

In the off chance that he can’t make it, there are always professional mourners that I can hire. Here in the United States, it is not generally popular, but I am thinking about it as another career. There are professional mourners who are people paid to attend funerals and pretend to be friends and family of the deceased. They are popular in places like China and are starting to take off here. These mourners are paid to create fake identities and act like they know the deceased.

Today’s funerals can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Professional mourners can make $30 to $120 per funeral. Funerals typically last 2 to 3 hours – making it possible to attend two funerals per day. I have to tell my friend there is money in this.

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Uplifting Lipstick

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

I’m the kind of person you’ll always find wearing her lipstick. I layer it on all day and it makes me feel like I can fool the world into thinking I look a little better.

Lately, it’s bordering on obsession. I’m looking for minty, creamy lipsticks that will stay on all day and look as fresh as if the lips I’m layering are natural. It isn’t easy pretending your lips are always vibrant red or even pugnacious purple. I keep a tube in my pocket and have been known to secretly scrape some off the top and rub my hand secretly across my lips when I think no one is looking.

This obsession started because I am currently somewhat out of funds. I’ve heard that lipstick is always popular when women are tapped out. Rich? They buy a real Louis Vuitton purse or pair of shoes – and some Botox. Poor? It’s a tube of lipstick.

-Any woman anywhere

My choice of lipstick recently has been Color The World Lipstick at http://www.colortheworld.com. This lipstick feels great, is creamy, and doesn’t feather on your wrinkled lips. Doesn’t feather on your wrinkled lips? That’s a miracle indeed. I always overshoot my lips and look like a deranged doppelganger for Lucille Ball, and I like it that way. The thing I also like is the company gives back 10 % of its profits to causes such as Empowered – helping depression and one called Rose that gives to the save the sea turtles movement. I tried Empowered and the lipstick’s creaminess and long lasting wear won me over. It doesn’t always help my weird, wrinkly lips, but, you can’t have everything. It’s best that I don’t notice the wrinkles when I’m wearing Empowered. I feel kind of empowered.

Lipstick is a great way to do your part for self care. It’s fairly inexpensive, about $10, and a real face changer.

Others agree. Some women say the self-esteem boost of adding color to their faces makes them feel accomplished.

It’s more a great way to be nice to yourself and feel great before a day of fighting ageism, your husband and kids.