Tag: #death

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Disney garden parties

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Awhile back, I started noticing I didn’t have any real hobbies, so I thought maybe: gardening.

Lots of people say they love it and can attest that sticking their hands in the dirt makes them feel somehow grounded (pun intended). So, I went to a local greenhouse and bought some tomatoes called Early Girls. They seemed to be bigger and would bloom earlier.

In fact, they were a huge hit. They grew light green, then deep red and shiny on my back porch in about two months and before I knew it, I was handing out my juicy friends as gifts in attractive baskets I found in a thrift store. I would have put a bow on the basket, but Meghan Markle stole my thunder with her new Netflix show, “With Love, Meghan.”  Markle put a bow on a jar of pretzels.

“They’re from my garden,” I would say at a party in a sustainable farmer-like manner.

Then, of course, everyone started saying, “I grow tomatoes, too.”

“Boo.”

They all stole my thunder. So, when I got an invite to cover the Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival for 2025, I went to find new audiences to show off my tomato growing expertise and to find the secrets of their fabulous topiaries and mind-blowing flower arrangements. The festival goes until June 2 at Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival in Epcot. Like usual, Disney World doesn’t disappoint, ever. There were more than 200,000 plants, birds, butterflies and enough beauty to overfill Epcot.

I was looking for something to perk me up from the doldrums of Chicago’s winters (I’ve taken to never leaving my house and only changing clothes on a need-to-know basis) and I found it, a change in my attitude and a reason to live. At the Flower and Garden Festival, there are Master gardeners galore and even doctors who are tagging actual butterflies and finding out which colors they like: spoiler alert, red.

According to Disney professionals, gardening focuses on creating peaceful sanctuaries for mental wellness. Landscaping experts also encourage spaces where you can meditate, read, or simply unwind. Imagine your own garden as a retreat to slow down and engage with nature. This deepens your outdoors connection and promotes mindfulness.

Ground covers, like those covering in and around the topiaries, are an essential element in any well-designed garden. Not only do they add lush greenery and vibrant color, but they also serve practical purposes like suppressing weeds, conserving soil moisture, and preventing erosion. Whether you’re looking to fill in a shady spot, add texture to a sunny slope, or simply reduce the amount of lawn you need to mow, ground covers are a versatile and beautiful solution. At Disney, the ground covers can even be used to eat. They made a moss-covered chocolate cupcake which made my day. There were topiaries made to look like Woody, Bo Peep, Phineas and Ferb, Mickey and Minnie and many more. There were floating gardens and even fresh smells from Scentsy to compliment the gardens.

Representing Japan, there is a Kokedama Garden, Shi-odoshi and even a Bonsai collection which I really wanted to learn how to handle. In England, there was a Shakespeare Garden and even an English Tea Garden presented by Twinings® Tea company.  Food came from everywhere including a Farmer’s Fest with grilled asparagus, scallops and blueberry crumble pie, among the tamer food offerings.

One of the most notable scientists, Dr. Jaret Daniels, met us in the Butterfly exhibit. He says everyone at Disney is most knowledgeable in their fields.

“You’ve never seen so many nerds in your life,” Daniels says.

 He is also a curator at the Florida Museum of Natural History’s McGuire Center for Lepidoptera & Biodiversity, the largest global research center for the study of butterflies and moths.

So, he knows his nerds.

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Trump. Trump. Kamala

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

It’s 3 a.m and I am anxiously looking at my newish phone every hour on the hour. Sleep is eluding me, but I’m in here in my 60s giving it the old college try. The old joke is how to sleep when you’re old? Sit in a chair. 

Yesterday, I got a call from a good friend asking if I wanted to cover the recent Donald J. Trump talk with Bloomberg News for her beautiful magazine called “Felix.” The show’s at the Fairmont Hotel, just around the corner from a hotel I booked for the night called the Chicago Millenium. After I looked at the comments on the hotel’s website, I noticed someone said there was blood on the sheets, nice, and it took me back. 

I’m here because I said yes to the dress, yes to covering Trump. Yes, to everything. I felt like a young cub reporter, and I realized how much I missed that feeling, all problems, and nerves and then no problems booze wouldn’t cure. 

Press had to meet at the hotel at 5:30 a.m. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten up that early. I trained my newborn to get up at 9 a.m. This might be a problem. 

“You’re always late,” my sister and nephew said. “Get there early.” 

I split the difference and arrived at 4 a.m. where I expected heavy Secret Service pat downs. But nothing.  I sat there until 5:30 a.m. and then meandered to a ballroom where they Secret Service) told me to put my camera down and leave it until 9:30 a.m. I then went back to my questionably sheeted hotel and went back to sleep. After that, it was time to see Trump and Bloomberg Editor-in-chief John Micklethwait. 

The reason we all convened was because Trump was addressing the Economic Club of Chicago ahead of the Nov. 5 election. The former president, and current GOP nominee, was interviewed by Micklethwait, whose name appears to be a mouthful. 

The press section, about 100 reporters, were seated behind members of the Economic Club who had drinks and breakfast. The press had coffee and seemed to be thoroughly pissed off. Maybe if we had croissants? Trump also was late, hours late. 

“Is this normal?” I asked a fellow old man reporter.” He doesn’t care,” the man said. 

Once he was on the podium, it was hard to stay mad at him. In my view, he was genuinely funny and I’m a sucker for laughter since I’ve had so few giggles since age 60. He started by talking tariffs and said he loves them for China. 

Micklethwaite in a heavy British accent (love that for United States elections) countered Trump on every idea. 

“You’ve been wrong your whole life,” Trump said to Micklethwait. Kinda made me think Trump has zero fucks left to give. 

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Creating Memories

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Just before my mother died, a sympathetic nurse came to my sister and I. She said she had taken my mom’s heartbeat off the monitor on the sly. She slipped it to my sister who put it in her purse.

“I want to make sure you have this memory of your mom,” she said. “Hopefully, you can make a tattoo out of it.”

Tattoo? We are sadly not tattoo kind of women. We were afraid with our extra layers of fat, the heartbeat might look like it’s flat lining. We took the small printed heartbeat to James & Sons in Indiana, and had it made into a necklace which is depicted by my niece above. It’s both modern and classic.

According to jewelers at James & Sons, people have lots of ways to memorialize a loved one. They make name and date bracelets, clocks, rings and more. They plant trees, preserve videos, and save voicemails in an effort to preserve their loved ones.

“This is the first time we’ve seen a heartbeat,” they said.

“Feel free to use the idea,” I say.

Whenever I put my heartbeat necklace on, I do feel a little closer to my mother. I even talk to her out loud when I’m wearing the necklace. Memorial jewelry can be done in plated or actual gold and starts at about $60. To me, it’s been a poignant reminder and a major comfort in the death of my mother.

I reached out to Tiffany & Co. (yes, THE Tiffany’s) to find out the baby blue iconic, upscale jewelers’ take on remembrances of loved ones.

“One person told me she mimicked the handwriting of her best friend who had passed away,” one employee told me. “She decided to put her friend’s words on a bracelet that would remind her of their close relationship at any time. The unique handwriting on the bracelet was a comfort to her.”

“People also include pictures of their loved ones on bracelets, rings, necklaces and just about anything,” she said. The way they do it is to engrave loved ones’ faces, or an image that best describes the loved one.

For some the idea of shopping at Tiffany’s, or even having breakfast there (giggle), can be a pricey idea.

“The best way to describe Tiffany & Co. is that it’s a company that has something special for everyone,” said the Tiffany employee.

Indeed, Tiffany & Co. began selling jewelry in 1837 and remains at the forefront of innovative jewelry. It’s been numero uno in the hearts of people everywhere since it began with its own (my favorite color, robins egg, baby blue) unique color scheme, and even a movie, “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” centered around it. According to its website, Tiffany & Co. has long been renowned for its luxury goods, especially jewelry, and has sought to market itself as an arbiter of taste and style. Tiffany designs, manufactures, and sells jewelry, watches, and crystal glassware. It also sells other timepieces, sterling silverware, china, stationery, fragrances, and accessories.

That tact of excellence in fine goods has worked. Because it’s been in the news so often and is so coveted, many people love the brand.

Agreed, the Tiffany employee reiterated.

“Our price point is due to our craftsmanship,” she said. “We do pride ourselves in the material we use and the sources where we’re receiving them.”

For my son, as I get on to my later years, you don’t even have to get the Tiffany jewelry for me. Just get the lovely blue box and I’ll be happy. #mothersguilt.

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that the Tiffany blue makes me happy. The color can even be found in eyeglass frames. We all love it. In the movie, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” Audrey Hepburn likes to say, “happy girls are prettier.”

If you’ve got a great idea for a memorial to a loved one, I’d like to hear about it. Please respond to this post or email me at janepospybokun@gmail.com.

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Death and the kind of peace no one expects…

Jane Bokun

By Jane Bokun

Lately, it seems like my eyes are twitching, I constantly have colon problems and I’m waiting for my disastrous disease diagnosis.

Like many of us over-50s, my mom, who I wrote about earlier, passed away and what one woman told me is true, “even when you wait all night for death to come to your family, it’s still a shock.” I prayed it would come because she was immobile and in pain, but it was still a huge void.

It is indeed, a shock that my father, her husband of 65 years, can’t handle. How do handle the death of the person who drove you the craziest, that you swore you’d never see again and now, will REALLY never see again? My mother was as cold as ice and belittled me as often as she could. I thought when she died all that would be gone. A whole, new me with no negativity. I was wrong. I visit her grave site and can’t even remember what I hated about her. To the rescue, Philippians 4:7 from the actual Bible. Every time I want to kill someone, or myself, or grieve the death of the person who let me down most, this is the prayer I recommend. I pray for the “peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding: ”

It’s a small prayer, but it does the job for anxiety. It wasn’t my fault that she was a bad mom and didn’t care. She really didn’t. I once had back surgery which required fusing three broken bones in my back with the possibility of paralysis, and she never came.

“Wah,” “wah,” none of that matters now. She’s gone and at peace, and I can only pray for it. But, I think God knew things like this could happen. Bad relationships that are mind-numbingly hard, with pain that never goes away, need some real, hands-on help.

PHILIPPIANS 4:7

So, God provided a little non-narcotic peace that you don’t have to hide. It’s the kind of peace you think is impossible, but actually happens. By the way, I was hooked by that definition, peace that surpasses whatever is going on in your life: death, taxes, break-ups, self-doubt and much, much more. It’s so modern, yet comes from such an old source.

During this late over-50 season, I recommend using it. A lot.